THE SKIN CHRONICLES - AN ONGOING JOURNEY PART 1: A CAUTIONARY TALE

Who doesn’t want good, if not, perfect skin?  Right?  I certainly do.  And I’m quite certain a lot of you out there do too, but attaining this epidermis ambition can be tricky, expensive and exhaustive.  Especially so if you are a lifetime skincare junkie like myself.  I am a person that has consistently taken good care of my skin.  It has always been sort of a hobby with me.  And my persistence in practicing a good skincare routine has actually paid off.  Although, I suppose my genetics has a lot to do with it as well. Especially considering that I’ve grown up in sunny California, have been a long distance runner for most of my life, sunbathed during a time when the benefits of sunscreen wasn’t touted and was optional, and that I am quite fond of staying up late and definitely enjoy my fair share of cocktails.  So, yeah, I’d say, for the most part, my skin as fared fairly well.  Historically, my experience in skincare goes deep; I’ve tried it all.  Lasers, acids, peels, topicals, facials, electric currents, massage, oils, lotions, potions, Botox, fillers, gadgets… you name it and I have probably dabbled.  So now that I find myself closer to 50 than not, I began taking close, if not, obsessive observation of my skin to determine just how much I show my age.  A bit neurotic about it all, really. You know the drill.  Wondering if I actually look my age.  How I’m holding up.  It’s pure vanity for sure.  Counting every fine line, agonizing over my sagging jowls, distressed about my upper lip lines (I’m not a smoker so what gives with those anyway?), and perturbed about my double chin.  Yes, the long reach of the cliché “I’d like to look the age that I feel” had a strong grasp of me and down the rabbit hole I went with my latest middle age crisis.  What brought this on… I haven’t a clue.  Perhaps it’s all part of growing older pains, maybe the social marketing got to me; or, perhaps, I really am just that vain!  All could be true.  As if I couldn’t be superficial enough, this lead me to my next journey in my skin chronicles… the medium-grade chemical peel.

Yes, the good ole chemical peel.  It’s been around for years, right?  Fairly safe, right?  Capable of exfoliating the outer, middle and/or deeper levels of the skin.  Sounds pretty good, right?  Seeing that I have had past dalliances with all sorts of facial rejuvenations, including many lighter-grade chemical peels, I hadn’t yet had a medium-grade chemical peel.  Recalling that my past peels always garnered pleasant results and knowing that peels not only treat hyperpigmentation, but they treat fine lines and a variety of texture concerns too, I thought at my age I was probably due for a more intense one.  So when I learned about the latest and greatest medium-grade chemical peel being offered at my doctor’s office, I thought, “Heck ya!  I’m in.”  Since lately I had been combating my aging skin concerns with micro-needling, or more commonly known as the “Vampire Facial,” which I really love, but its progress is slow (and costly) and I am impetuous.  I wanted to finally combat my concerns in one fell swoop, so I was definitely game and quickly made an appointment. 

A chemical peel is promoted as being effective for acne scars, hyperpigmentation, reducing fine lines and wrinkles, reversing sun damage, and generally can improve the texture, clarity and appearance of your skin.  It is also known to be safe to use for all skin complexions and the low-grade peels are fairly painless with a minimum amount of down time.  I was confident of its effectiveness, but still maintained a degree of realistic expectations.  I was aware of the risks involved which can include redness, changes in skin color, additional hyperpigmentation, scarring, infection and even heart, kidney or liver damage.  Yet, knowing all of this, I still decided to move forward with it. 

Well let’s just say things didn’t quite go as expected.  Granted, they could have gone a lot worse, but they also could have gone a lot better. 

Right After Peel

The first application of the chemical peel burned with intense stinging.  Knowing that some discomfort was to be expected and having a high tolerance for pain, I tried to maintain a semblance of comfort, but I quickly had to stop to take a break.  Using a fan, I cooled my skin off and waited for the Lidocaine to kick in (Lidocaine is a numbing agent that is actually in the chemical peel).  After a brief break, we continued with the second application.  Unfortunately, the second application was even more uncomfortable than the first.  I literally found myself cringing away from my esthetician with each pass.  We finished shortly thereafter.  The experience was unpleasant, painful and near intolerable.  I had never before experienced that degree of stinging and burning and so I was a bit confused and anxious about it all.  When I left my doctor’s office and got into my car I discovered that I was actually trembling from the pain and had to pacify myself thinking.. “Let’s just get home and calm down.  It’ll be okay.”  Making it home, I quickly changed into my pajamas and made a stiff drink.  Then, looking into the mirror I was mortified to see a bit of a severe sight looking back.  Not only was I bright orange, but the peel had actually foamed in different places all over my face.  Little down time, right?  Fairly painless, right?  Wrong.  It was at this moment that I realized that I probably wasn’t going to make it out of the house for the next few days.  The severity of the skin discoloration and shedding was so disconcerting and jarring that I actually didn’t leave the house until four days later.  This simple procedure quickly turned complex and unsettling.

14 Days Later

Seven days later, I still had discoloration, redness, and peeling.  Although the peeling was subsiding, it was unsightly and just kind of gross. 

Fourteen days later, I still had patches of discoloration, dryness, flakiness with crepe texture.

Thirty days later, I called my doctor’s office about the remaining discoloration. I even sent pictures.  I was told that this was “normal,” but to come in for an exam and Microdermabrasion.  My reply:  “Umm, no thanks.”

So am I disappointed?  Of course.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.  The results rendered from this particular medium-grade chemical peel are patchy and it caused even more discoloration and hyperpigmentation that I had to begin with.  Now, instead of being steps ahead in my skin care journey, this put me leaps back.  Although, I know a lot of these issues will resolve themselves in time, I have now turned to a strictly organic treatment plan to treat the residual effects of this peel.

Thinking about how I’d feel if the peel had been a positive experience, I discovered that I felt really bad that I had self-harmed all in the name of vanity.  Shame on me because that’s really not who I am.  I was impatient, impetulant, narcissistic and casual about it all which brings me to my latest middle age lesson:  be happy with what you have and be careful with what you think you need. 

In retrospect, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my skin to begin with.  It’s just aging.  Aging gracefully, that is.  While there are an innumerable amount of procedures these days to stave off the sands of time, I think it’s about time that I let go of those youthful dreams that I’ve been holding onto so tightly.  My youth was good to me, but I have faith that middle age will be just as good to me, if not better.  And, honestly, I don’t want to fight Mother Nature.  I’d rather walk straight into her loving arms instead of trying to pull away.

So if you find yourself in a middle age neurosis and are considering an “anti-aging” procedure of a certain type, you may want to consider this first:  do you really need a procedure to cure you of aging?  Aging is not a disease, it’s a rite of passage.  Perhaps if we hold onto this attitude as tightly as some of us have been trying to hold onto our youth, we can find ourselves walking into middle age with forgiveness, peace, clarity and self-acceptance.

Although, I will never relinquish my quest of looking my best, I guess you could say that instead of looking at myself through judgmental colored glasses, I’m now looking at myself through rose colored spectacles.  And that’s huge for me.

Now

“You have to sit down and take a good look at yourself, particularly as you grow older and your face changes.  People are afraid of changing; that they’re losing something.  They don’t understand that they are also gaining something.” - Sharon Stone