THE SKIN CHRONICLES - AN ONGOING JOURNEY PART 1: A CAUTIONARY TALE
Who doesn’t want good, if not, perfect skin? Right?
I certainly do. And I’m quite
certain a lot of you out there do too, but attaining this epidermis ambition
can be tricky, expensive and exhaustive.
Especially so if you are a lifetime skincare junkie like myself. I am a person that has consistently taken good
care of my skin. It has always been sort
of a hobby with me. And my persistence
in practicing a good skincare routine has actually paid off. Although, I suppose my genetics has a lot to
do with it as well. Especially considering that I’ve grown up in sunny
California, have been a long distance runner for most of my life, sunbathed
during a time when the benefits of sunscreen wasn’t touted and was optional,
and that I am quite fond of staying up late and definitely enjoy my fair share
of cocktails. So, yeah, I’d say, for the
most part, my skin as fared fairly well.
Historically, my experience in skincare goes deep; I’ve tried it all. Lasers, acids, peels, topicals, facials,
electric currents, massage, oils, lotions, potions, Botox, fillers, gadgets… you
name it and I have probably dabbled. So
now that I find myself closer to 50 than not, I began taking close, if not,
obsessive observation of my skin to determine just how much I show my age. A bit neurotic about it all, really. You know
the drill. Wondering if I actually look my age. How I’m holding up. It’s pure vanity for sure. Counting every fine line, agonizing over my
sagging jowls, distressed about my upper lip lines (I’m not a smoker so what
gives with those anyway?), and perturbed about my double chin. Yes, the long reach of the cliché “I’d like to look the age that I feel” had
a strong grasp of me and down the rabbit hole I went with my latest middle age crisis. What brought this on… I haven’t a clue. Perhaps it’s all part of growing older pains,
maybe the social marketing got to me; or, perhaps, I really am just that vain! All could be true. As if I couldn’t be superficial enough, this lead
me to my next journey in my skin chronicles… the medium-grade chemical peel.
Yes, the good ole chemical peel. It’s been around for years, right? Fairly safe, right? Capable of exfoliating the outer, middle
and/or deeper levels of the skin. Sounds
pretty good, right? Seeing that I have had
past dalliances with all sorts of facial rejuvenations, including many lighter-grade
chemical peels, I hadn’t yet had a medium-grade chemical peel. Recalling that my past peels always garnered
pleasant results and knowing that peels not only treat hyperpigmentation, but
they treat fine lines and a variety of texture concerns too, I thought at my
age I was probably due for a more intense one.
So when I learned about the latest and greatest medium-grade chemical
peel being offered at my doctor’s office, I thought, “Heck ya! I’m in.”
Since lately I had been combating my aging skin concerns with
micro-needling, or more commonly known as the “Vampire Facial,” which I really love,
but its progress is slow (and costly) and I am impetuous. I wanted to finally combat my concerns in one
fell swoop, so I was definitely game and quickly made an appointment.
A chemical peel is promoted as being effective for acne
scars, hyperpigmentation, reducing fine lines and wrinkles, reversing sun
damage, and generally can improve the texture, clarity and appearance of your
skin. It is also known to be safe to use
for all skin complexions and the low-grade peels are fairly painless with a
minimum amount of down time. I was
confident of its effectiveness, but still maintained a degree of realistic
expectations. I was aware of the risks involved
which can include redness, changes in skin color, additional hyperpigmentation,
scarring, infection and even heart, kidney or liver damage. Yet, knowing all of this, I still decided to
move forward with it.
Well let’s just say things didn’t quite go as
expected. Granted, they could have gone
a lot worse, but they also could have gone a lot better.
Right After Peel |
The first application of the chemical peel burned with
intense stinging. Knowing that some
discomfort was to be expected and having a high tolerance for pain, I tried to
maintain a semblance of comfort, but I quickly had to stop to take a
break. Using a fan, I cooled my skin off
and waited for the Lidocaine to kick in (Lidocaine is a numbing agent that is
actually in the chemical peel). After a
brief break, we continued with the second application. Unfortunately, the second application was even
more uncomfortable than the first. I literally
found myself cringing away from my esthetician with each pass. We finished shortly thereafter. The experience was unpleasant, painful and near
intolerable. I had never before experienced
that degree of stinging and burning and so I was a bit confused and anxious
about it all. When I left my doctor’s
office and got into my car I discovered that I was actually trembling from the
pain and had to pacify myself thinking.. “Let’s just get home and calm
down. It’ll be okay.” Making it home, I quickly changed into my
pajamas and made a stiff drink. Then, looking
into the mirror I was mortified to see a bit of a severe sight looking
back. Not only was I bright orange,
but the peel had actually foamed in different places all over my face. Little down time, right? Fairly painless, right? Wrong.
It was at this moment that I realized that I probably wasn’t going to
make it out of the house for the next few days.
The severity of the skin discoloration and shedding was so disconcerting
and jarring that I actually didn’t leave the house until four days later. This simple procedure quickly turned complex
and unsettling.
14 Days Later |
Seven days later, I still had discoloration, redness, and
peeling. Although the peeling was subsiding,
it was unsightly and just kind of gross.
Fourteen days later, I still had patches of discoloration,
dryness, flakiness with crepe texture.
Thirty days later, I called my doctor’s office about the
remaining discoloration. I even sent
pictures. I was told that this was
“normal,” but to come in for an exam and Microdermabrasion. My reply:
“Umm, no thanks.”
So am I disappointed?
Of course. I’d be lying if I said
I wasn’t. The results rendered from this
particular medium-grade chemical peel are patchy and it caused even more discoloration
and hyperpigmentation that I had to begin with.
Now, instead of being steps ahead in my skin care journey, this put me leaps
back. Although, I know a lot of these issues
will resolve themselves in time, I have now turned to a strictly organic
treatment plan to treat the residual effects of this peel.
Thinking about how I’d feel if the peel had been a positive
experience, I discovered that I felt really bad that I had self-harmed all in the
name of vanity. Shame on me because that’s
really not who I am. I was impatient, impetulant,
narcissistic and casual about it all which brings me to my latest middle age
lesson: be happy with what you have and
be careful with what you think you need.
In retrospect, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my
skin to begin with. It’s just
aging. Aging gracefully, that is. While there are an innumerable amount of procedures
these days to stave off the sands of time, I think it’s about time that I let
go of those youthful dreams that I’ve been holding onto so tightly. My youth was good to me, but I have faith
that middle age will be just as good to me, if not better. And, honestly, I don’t want to fight Mother
Nature. I’d rather walk straight into
her loving arms instead of trying to pull away.
So if you find yourself in a middle age neurosis and are considering
an “anti-aging” procedure of a certain type, you may want to consider this first: do you really need a procedure to cure you of
aging? Aging is not a disease, it’s a
rite of passage. Perhaps if we hold onto
this attitude as tightly as some of us have been trying to hold onto our youth, we can
find ourselves walking into middle age with forgiveness, peace, clarity and
self-acceptance.
Although, I will never relinquish my quest of looking my
best, I guess you could say that instead of looking at myself through
judgmental colored glasses, I’m now looking at myself through rose colored
spectacles. And that’s huge for me.
Now |
“You have to sit down and take a good look at yourself,
particularly as you grow older and your face changes. People are afraid of changing; that they’re
losing something. They don’t understand
that they are also gaining something.” - Sharon Stone
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